Good Advise...

This was the quote of the day on my MSN page today. It kinda hit home!!

"Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting."
Billy Rose

Let Down!

It is Friday, very much a TGIF!!

What a week I have had. It started out pretty good, I had my annual review and that went very well. Considering my boss is one that likes to dig up dirt and create things our of nothing.

Oh, the "Let Down" part. The Guy from Work why don't we call him "Mr. Clean".

This is my weekend that my daughter goes to visit her dad. Thus giving me the opportunity for a little fun. Yet this weekend seems to be fun free. I was hoping that Mr. Clean would give me a call last night on his way home from seeing his son and ask if I wanted to do something. You see normally by Thursday he has already asked, but I was holding out hope. I should not have expected anything he has made it pretty clear that he doesn't have much time for a while (the blow off).

Here we are and it is a Friday, I have no child tonight and nothing really to do. No worries though I will find some sort of fun to get into along with a nice bottle of wine!

My day has pretty much just begun so I need to get busy and get a few things done. I hope you all have a wonderful fun filled weekend.

The End Of My Issues

What is it going to take to get to the end of my issues?

Money, love, time,work... everything seems to be a challenge. Don't get me wrong I enjoy a good challenge but this one does not have an end in sight.

I have heard it all, everything from take action and you are the keeper of your own destiny. Are you really?

At work I have to conform to what they think is the correct way of doing things. I work the schedule that has been laid out for me. I do what I am told, a trained chimp!

My love life, well that all bleeds into the time issue, so lets skip ahead...

Time!! I need to go to school... You see I had a lot of fun in high school and goofed off mostly, so when it came down to going to college that was a no go. My folks were not going to pay for me to go to college because I was not going to take it serious. They were right and I did not want to go.

When I was 22 and going no where in life, working at a car dealership in the cashiers booth. I decided that it was my time. Time for me to go to school and take action. I was researching my options and all. About this time I fell into a pretty good job, and my plans for school were delayed. Next I find myself engaged to be married and suddenly pregnant.

I am 32 now and still have not gone to college. I am far to old to do the real college experience now and have way to many responsibilities. I didn't get married, he enjoyed hanging out with the bar stool far more than he did me. I had to do it on my own. I moved out of my parents house got my own place and became the single mom.

Being a single mom limits your time. My main focus in life it to make sure that I raise a well rounded, intelligent, kind human being. To not squash her dreams of becoming the President, a Teacher or a Singer.

That brings us to my time. How can I possible go to college even at night and take that time away from my child and helping her get through school. 3rd grade is much harder now than it was when I was in it. How can't date like a normal single woman? I have every other weekend for me, however it never turns out to be about me. I have soccer, or cheer leading, Girl Scout camp outs to go too.

For a while I thought that if I could just find someone to help. A man to help end all my issues. He could help with the money, time and love factors at least. I quickly learned that I could not count on them. Not even the ones that once put you on a pedal stool and treated you like a goddess.

So here I am still trying to figure out when I am going to come to the end of all my issues.

Starting Over

I have decided that I want to turn back time. This sounds crazy I know, but think about it. The days of having really no resonsibility. Your main job was to go to school, which was a big party for the most part, study (very little), and have fun.

I would like to go back to the first day of high school.

My parents moved between my 8th grade and Freshman year in High School. So I started my Freshman year at a school where I only knew one person (the preachers son) and did not know him that well. All my life I went to school with the same people and this was my fresh start. I thinned out that summer and looked great.

I remember the first day of school, the last day of school and many in between. They were great moments in my life.

Back then I worked part time at Chess King Garage (men's clothing store) and the Roller Skating Rink. My entire world was at the skating rink. Almost all the guys I dated were met at the skating rink. (I know, I am old)

Be prepared this is going to sound corny.

My first real boyfriend, "Scooter" He was in band class with me, however I had not talked to him until he heard me tell a friend that I was working that weekend at the rink. He came up there with his little sister just to try to meet me. We became really good friends that weekend and after a few months started dating. Oh the feeling of kissing while skating (lol). Scooter started working at the rink about that time. Ahhh High School Love! Why did I think it was so difficult?

Scooter and I managed to stay in touch until about 6 years ago. About 6 months ago I started looking for him again. I tried all the different school reunion sites and asked old friends if they knew anything. One day while reading an article in some dumb magazine they were telling readers how to do a search for someone on the internet. So what the heck I give it a try and sure enough I located an email address for him, shoot the email "What were you doing on your 16th birthday" a few days later I got this response "Something sneaky with you" My Scooter. He called me that Saturday we talked for 3 hours. During our conversation I find out that he is just an hour and a half away from me, but moving in 8 days, 6 hours away. He asked me to come down that night and hang out with him, (here is the catch) he didn't get off work until 2 am. My prudish/cautious side of me says don't do it. Yet something inside of me said to (this is really bad) Seize the day. I did it, I drove down at 12:30 am to see him.

Pulling into his driveway my stomach was in complete knots, (I am not 16 anymore) and look quite different. I never thought I could be awkward around this guy, (for gods sake the first time either of us ever had sex was with each other). Kissing him again was really nice!!! The night went well, we fell asleep at 7 am.

I was talking to "Too Tall" (a once mutual friend of Scooters and mine) about my seeing him again. To me my only thought was that he was a person that I really wanted to keep in my life forever in one way, shape or form. For some reason Too Tall seems to think different, but won't explain what he thinks it is about. Do you have a take in on this?

The Guy From Work

I started hanging out with this guy from work, I know bad idea, we work at the same place, but it was just a friend thing.

This all started some time ago, he asked me over (we don't live far apart) to hang out drink some wine and watch a movie or two. I repeatedly had a reason for not going. This lasted a good year. One night I broke down and went to his house. Believe it or not I had a great time. This man not being my type at all was a lot of fun.

You see I like to be able to pick on people and them not take offense to it. He takes all that I can dish out and dishes it right back. We have had some great conversations and all.

So for about 5 months now we have been doing this every other weekend ritual. (minus the time with the kids during Christmas and stuff) Things have started to develop in a different way. (wink wink) This last long holiday weekend, would have been our normal to hang out. He tells me days ahead that he has his son one night and stuff to do with his parents and 2nd home, otherwise no time for me.

Okay, no big deal right!!

So last Friday on our way home he calls and starts telling me about all that he has to get done before the sale of the other house and that his parents are going to be staying with him for a couple of months until their new home is done being built. (I got the brush off)

The way I see things is... If he wanted to spend time with me, he would make the time to spend with me.

Here I thought I was kinda safe, he is one of the good guys, you know, good job, nice car, loves his child and is involved in his life, great sense of humor, easy to be around, okay looking not exactly my type.

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!!

Today as normal, I get the instant message, like nothing has changed, talking like normal. What is with the mixed signal?